Treatment 5 of 12 (8/23/2012)

“and if the wind is right you can sail away and find tranquility…”

Sailing in my Clipper 27ft sailboat was always a pleasure. This was a very nice boat, with a beautiful cabin and well stocked galley. This boat was clean and comfortable and fit me well. The trip was well planned and I was looking forward to yet another enjoyable time on the water.  My destination was a couple days away and I fully expected this to be another great adventure to add to a long list of successful voyages.

After sailing for a day I was a bit nervous when I could no longer see the shore.  Regardless of the fear I simply chose to trust my GPS and keep on course.  And after a while; I relaxed and started enjoying the sights, sounds, and sun. Life is Good!

It wasn’t too long into the trip before I started to doubt my 27 foot sailboat. When I realized that my course was going to cross with an ominous storm the fear started to consume me and I was on the verge of panic!  I just knew that my small craft was no match for the weather that lie ahead. I noticed that the waves were increasingly threatening and the swells left me with walls of water surrounding my tiny boat.

I was traveling East, directly into the storm and my instinct was to turn my craft 180 degrees and head West, away from the storm.  So I followed my instinct and promptly adjusted course. Traveling West, over what seemed like hours, I continuously looked back to see if the storm was gaining on me; imagine my surprise when I noticed yet another storm flanking my port side. The storm brewing in the South horizon was even more ominous than the one blowing in from the West, filled with fierce lightning and thunder.

I once again adjusted course and set direction Northwest (again away from the now two storms stalking me).  I hoped I could avoid these storms as I feared this tiny and inadequate craft simply could not overcome the tribulation that these gales would deliver.

Sailing at top speed on the Northeast course I couldn’t help but wonder about my fate and whether my end was destined to happen soon. And as if things couldn’t worsen, I glanced down at my instrumentation and found that my GPS was not functioning correctly. My GPS picked a fine time to break! I have grown to depend on high tech solutions and without this tool I was surely lost. Now the wonder turns to worry. Was I heading towards land or further out to sea? What lies ahead of me? What was on the horizon?  Was there yet another storm?  Would battling the turbulent seas be inevitable?  Pondering what might happen given this predicament is a very scary thing to do!

All of you who know me realize that I don’t have a sail boat nor do I know how to sail. However, this story helps me communicate what cancer feels like to me!  All is going well, the children are finishing their college, retirement is not too far down the line, grandchildren are something I look forard to, and the future with my wife Connie looks bright. When suddenly I’m faced with testicular cancer and then, several months later, an even more serious second primary cancer (colorectal cancer).  And to make it even more of a challenge, the next thing we find is that the colorectal cancer has metastasized in the lung.  Now what? What storms lie in wait?  Or maybe, just maybe, we will ride out the storm and find clear sailing in the future? Uncertainty!

I’m sure you all have heard the saying “cancer sucks!”  Well, I have to admit that this phrase, although poorly worded, really hits the mark!  Cancer is a horrible disease for a lot of different reasons.  For me the uncertainty about the future and the side-effects of the cancer treatments are the biggest current challenges. It can be overwhelming at times and certainly is a source of frustration and anger, among other emotions.  I also think that the emotions can rise up within me at the worst times. Although I try to deal with them in positive ways, they seem to negatively influence communication with those closest to me and cause relationship challenges (additional stresses we certainly don’t need during these times). What can I say, Cancer Sucks!

And so I have to accept the prognosis and perservere through the storms!  The doctor estimated that taking chemo would increase the chance of remission by 20 percent.  However, there is still a 50% chance of a recurrence (even with chemo).  And of course, these estimates are not based on an exact science.  They are one doctor’s educated guess. Each cancer patient is unique and the cancer they are battling is also unique. The doctor has to extrapolate from dated and disparate studies and try to apply this knowledge to my specific case (thats how they refer to us – as cases). I’m sure the good doctor is doing his best at estimating; however, I am also very sure it is NOT an exact science.

Even the treatments for cancer (chemo and radiation) are challenging.  They come with many negative side-effects, not least being exhaustion/fatigue.  Unfortunately, it is not as simple as taking a pill and carrying on with our daily lives.  Chemo does disrupt life and without a guarantee that it will help. Even so; I will try to minimize the disruption! I will fight it and try to carry on my normal activities. And we are rolling the dice with the chemo and hoping this time it helps!

Anyway, enough with delving into feelings and emotions – that is very unlike me.  I usually do a really good job of checking any “bad” emotions (a.k.a. burying them so deep that they are surely forgotten and rendered harmless). Just kidding, I think I’ve done better in my later years (good trend) at listening to my emotions and acknoweledging them. I try to understand the reason for the emotion and allow myself to feel and experience them. With hope that the bad emotion won’t linger and fester and ultimately cause additional challenges. Yes, I also know I have to do better at this emotion mangement thing!

THE REALITY OF THIS ADVENTURE IS:

I accept the LORD as my personal savior! I will trust in the LORD.  Jesus is my partner through whatever challenges lie ahead.  And I will Love my family and friends.  Simply said I will try to keep my sites on living.  And I will focus on keeping faith and humbly accepting each day as a wonderful blessing from heaven.

Today is the day the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it!

Thank you to all who continue to offer prayers and support for me and my family!  I too pray for you as well; that Life will be filled with Love and many blessings for you and your families!

And thank you God for all the wonderful blessings you continue to send to me and my family and friends! While we may not be deserving of many of these blessing we are always very grateful!

Go Tigers!   Go Lions!   Go Blue!  Go Wings!

Go Marshall 7^th Grade Football Team!!!

***

Treatment 4 of 12 (8/9/2012)

Post Vacation Blues

I woke up this morning at 5:30 AM, not unlike most days. While lying in bed I listened to the distant thunder making its way towards us. I have always loved to listen to a storm. It reminds me of sitting on the front porch with my father. He often would sit with us kids on an old glider/swing and we would all watch the rain together. I loved to cuddle up by my father and enjoyed the rain and his stories as well. I always felt secure and warm on those days.

As the thunder became more frequent I reluctantly rolled out of bed. After getting up I decided to head to the enclosed back porch to watch the storm. I bundled up with the blanket and laid on the lounge chair on the back porch. Soon after settling into the chair our two little dogs, Bella and Ruby, jumped up by me and found a spot to curl up and sleep. Sitting there thinking about chemo and cancer I wished my father was there with me so I could feel the warmth and security I felt when I was eleven years old. The storm front rolled in and brought with it lightning, thunder, cold winds, and heavy rain. I watched the storm as long as I could before needing to get ready for the day.

Connie and I made it out the door around 7am heading to U of M Cancer center. This trip was tougher than the previous trips. The ride to Ann Arbor was treacherous as it stormed the entire way here, sometimes raining so hard that I could hardly see the tail lights of the car in front of us. We drove slowly to avoid hydroplaning and every now and then another car would race by us and spray our car and leave me with a slightly elevated blood pressure. This treatment comes after vacation and that makes it more difficult to do as well. Taking vacation last week gave me a two week break from chemo. And what a wonderful break it was. With this extended break I started feeling really good! And the downside to this is having to go back for treatment 4 today – knowing that I will need to endure through the side effects of chemo once again. Also knowing that with each treatment the side effects may worsen.

Denise, a colleague at work, made me a chain in support of my treatments (Thank you Denise). Each link in this chain represents a treatment. Each link is also scribed with a word of encouragement. The word for this treatment was “courage” and what a fitting word of encouragement for me today. Courage is a necessity as one battles cancer and as I face more treatments. Steven Tyler while co-hosting American Idol once said “Courage is fear offered up as prayer”. While I didn’t really care for him as a host on this show, his words that day have stuck with me. I frequently offer up my fears in prayer and ask the LORD to give me courage to face the days ahead!

The routine of treatment day is fairly simple. Upon arrival at U of M the first stop is the clinic for blood tests. The nurse that takes blood also sets up access to the port (which will be used for the infusion). After the blood draw I check in for the infusion. When they are ready (blood test results are available) they call me into the infusion area and the chemo process begins. The infusion process takes the better part of a day (about 4 hours) and involves receiving multiple chemo drugs as well as medications to help manage the side effects of chemo. When the infusion is complete they connect a portable pump that will deliver the remaining chemo drug over a 46 hour period of time. Once the pump is connected I am free to go home. Today, I expect the pump to be connected around 3pm.

This week my white blood cell count is down – not uncommon per the doctor. The doctor prescribed another medication to help boost the count. If the white blood cell count is too depleted I will be much more susceptible to infection and viruses. Hopefully this added medication will boost my white blood cell count and I can avoid any collateral sickness. The chemo side effects are enough to deal with – I don’t need any flu or cold viruses or infections.

Vacation Update:

Family vacation was a fun filled week. The weather was excellent and the activities were plenty. Boating on Bert and Mullet Lakes, tubing, a raft ride down the Sturgeon river, a scavenger hunt competition, wiffle ball games, kick ball games, camp fires, marshmellows, cook outs, multiple restaurant stops on the boat, Alvis entertainment, pool games, ping pong, shuffle board.

We had a lot of family on this trip as well. Connie and me, my brother George, my daughter and son Sarah and Tony, my step daughter Anna and her friend CJ, my step son Bryce and his friend Patrick, my nephew and his wife (Rick and Buffy) and their children (Taylor, Brendan, and Mitchel), and my BFF Kathy and her God Son Joe and his brother Jack. Even with all these people here we still missed my step daughter Alexis and her boyfriend Aaron as they went on their own vacation down south.

Okay, now mix all these people with all these activities and what do you get — Summer Vacation 2012! Oh yes, you also get a little family drama too but I suppose that is to be expected and to be forgotten.

A few pictures from vacation…

Thank you to my wife Connie – she has been with me through treatments and doctor visits, highs and lows. Your support makes this process bearable!

Thank you to my brother George – he has taken time out of his life to help me with household duties. George, your help is truly appreciated! George has fixed doors, lights, the power washer, drain grates on back porch, assembled patio chairs, helped with cleaning the garage, packing for vacation, fixing the mailbox / address, and numerous other items I’m not remembering right at this moment. I am really lucky to have a brother as caring and generous as George.

Thank you to my best friend Louie and his two wonderful sons Chandler and Parker. They have helped me with many chores around the house (mowing the lawn, trimming, edging, etc.) and their help is deeply appreciated!

Thank you to my BFF Kathy – she has sent me a text message every morning wishing me light and love. Her persistence with these messages has truly been inspiring and encouraging!

Thank you to all my friends and family – for all the well wishes, prayers, and encouragement! I am truly a very lucky person to have so many good people in my life.

Treatment 3 of 12 (7/19/2012)

Chemo treatment 2 was on July 5.   As I reported in the last update I expected that the side-effects (downtime due to fatigue and other issues) from this last treatment would subside on Sunday July 8.  My “plan” was to feel good beginning on Mon July 9 [smile – we need to have a plan for this stuff].

Unfortunately things didn’t go as planned.  The side-effects from this last treatment left me reeling and whirling through Thu July 12. I never imagined I’d have that much trouble from this.  It is scary how we can go from feeling good to feeling sick so fast.

And so now the reality of this process is beginning to become clear. It is an organic process, meaning we really don’t know how it will go from week to week.  There are many variables that need to be managed to help minimize the side effects and unfortunately I’m learning though the school of hard knocks. The good news is I’m a lot smarter for this treatment and I’m optimistic and hopeful that applying the lessons learned will minimize downtime this round!

Marlins Update: This past weekend was the final tournament for the Marlins and the Team honored their commitment to fill my trophy case. They won all five games they played and added a first place trophy to the collection. And I was lucky enough to be at all five games.  I was very proud and honored to accept a first place trophy along with the team. Congratulations Marlins on an excellent season! I can hardly wait until next year! GO MARLINS!!!

Golf Update: After a wonderful weekend of Marlins’ baseball I felt great!  And on Monday night I decided to play golf with the league. My round started out excellent. I hit a perfect drive, followed by an excellent 80 yard chip, then a “nearly in” 10 foot putt, and a tap-in for par!  My score seemed to steadily increase one stroke with each subsequent hole; but that didn’t matter.  The important thing is that I PLAYED GOLF!  That alone felt like a victory!  After golf we went to my house for some brats and Tigers baseball [thank you Connie and Alexis for preparing a delicious dinner].  And the Tigers obliged us with an excellent come-from-behind victory as well [thank you Tigers]!

Looking Forward: Today is treatment 3 of 12 AND it is the last treatment before our family vacation up north. Treatment 4 will be on August 9 which means I will have a couple weeks to enjoy between treatments [Yay – a break from chemo]. I’m really looking forward to this break and going up north with my family!

Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement – they are truly appreciated!

Pray for rain and a break from this heat wave!

I pray that God bless you and shower you with his Love today and every day!

Love, Light, and Warmth to all!

Treatment 2 of 12 (7/5/12)

Today I’m getting treatment 2 of 12 (as I type this update).  The treatment starts out with an hour drive from Marshall to Ann Arbor.  When we arrive in Ann Arbor the first stop is for blood tests.  After the blood is drawn we check in for the infusion.  The treatment actually consists of several infusions over several hours.  Between waiting and infusions and a doctor visit we will spend eight hours in Ann Arbor today and hope to be riding home around 4:30pm

The side effects of chemotherapy are usually mild for most people but can be debilitating in rare cases. Luckily for me I’m in the mild category so far. The worst of the side effects I experienced was fatigue.  The Sunday following the first infusion was spent sleeping the entire day.  I suspect this treatment will probably result in similar side effects and therefore I’m planning on this Sunday to be a day of rest for me.

Sensitivity to cold is another side effect of the treatment I’m receiving.  You know how you feel if you touch ice for a prolonged period of time?  It’s not pleasant.  With this drug even touching cold for a short period of time is not pleasant. This means that I can’t drink cold drinks or eat cold foods and have to avoid touching cold things (frozen food, etc.). Luckily this cold sensitivity fades away in a few days following treatment.  Other side effects include tingling in hands and feet and digestion challenges.

Thank you Jesus for being with me today as I begin Treatment 2 of 12.  I know that you will bring healing through this therapy and I am thankful to all the care-givers assisting me in this fight.

Thank you LORD for bringing so many beautiful people into my life; including my family, friends, colleagues, and health care workers. They are each a blessing from you LORD. And I ask you LORD to please shower these people with your Love.  Shine upon them and their families today and everyday.

Amen

Sunny with a chance of clouds (6/28/2010)

The doctor from U of M seemed to lay it out straight — he considers me as currently in remission, No Evidence of Disease (NED)!

 Carcinoembryonic Antigen (CEA) is a substance found in blood that is used to assess whether a colon cancer patient has tumor activity.  The normal level for CEA is 0 to 3. High levels of CEA are usually associated with tumor activity (link to more info on CEA).  In my case the CEA levels were tested at various points before and after surgeries.  The results of these tests are summarized below:

The latest CEA level was 3.1, slightly above the 0 to 3 normal range. 

 [For those of you thinking it…  yes, this really wouldn’t be “Phil’s Blog” if it didn’t have at least one chart…  Smile]

An additional test the doctor did was a chest/lung CT scan.  As he explained it, the U of M CT scan was a much more granular scan than the Battle Creek hospital had historically done (0.8 MM vs. 5 MM slices).  He also warned us that it is not uncommon for the more granular scan to pick up small lung nodules that are NOT cancer – I guess he didn’t want us to panic in the event that he found additional small nodules.  The results of this more granular scan = ALL CLEAR,  No Evidence of Disease (NED)!

It is important to keep a good perspective when battling cancer.  Fighting cancer is more analogous to running a marathon rather than sprinting a mile. That means that recurrences can happen but even if they do happen the war is NOT lost! 

With surgery as the only treatment (no chemotherapy) the U of M doctor estimated the probability of a recurrence as high (around 70% chance).  With chemotherapy the probability of a recurrence would certainly be reduced. However, the amount of the reduction is not exactly known. He extrapolated from studies that are not directly applicable to my case and estimated that with chemo there was a 50% chance of recurrence (therefore a 50% chance of NO recurrence!).

If you search the web, stage IV colon cancer five year survival rates are estimated between five to nine percent. You may also read that stage IV colon cancer is treatable but not curable. We asked the doctor about these statistics. The doctor explained that those estimates are based on dated research (ten year old studies).  Additionally, most of the research is based on elderly patients who were also suffering from other disease and/or poor health.  He did not believe these statistics are current nor are they relevant to my situation. Unfortunately, there just isn’t current data available that directly relates to my case; so in some ways we are sailing in uncharted waters. There are different degrees of stage IV colon cancer.  Some cases involve many tumors in multiple organs. Certainly these cases are much more challenging than my situation which involved solitary tumors.  We also discussed contingencies.  If the cancer recurs there is a high probability that it would continue as a solitary tumor and that it would be treatable with an additional surgery. 

He stated strongly that he believes stage IV colon cancer CAN BE CURED.   And further stated that he believes he can cure me of this disease (between 40 to 60% chance!). So we have placed our trust in this doctor and are following his treatment!

Additional topics discussed with the doctor included exercising and eating healthier! I’ll say more about these in a future post.

As of 6/28/2012, I have been walking a LOT (even through two surgeries in three weeks).  I’ve been eating healthier (fish, chicken, vegetables, fruit, smaller portions, etc.). I’ve lost over 20 lbs. I’ve started chemotherapy treatment.  I have you all praying for me! The LORD has been with me every step of the way! Jesus will continue to walk beside me and give me strength! I feel your love and positive energy flowing my way!  

I thank God for all these blessings! I thank you for your Prayers and Positive Energy and Love! I pray that God will bless each of you and let his Light shine upon you and your families today and forever! Amen!

Reading the Blog (6/23/12)

All, as you probably already know, I started this blog to update you all on my fight with cancer and to request your prayers and positive energy as well. I posted some historical updates on the blog.  If you wanted to review these past updates, I recommend scrolling to the bottom of the blog and reading the articles from bottom up as that is the chronological order of the updates. At a minimum I recommend reading the “welcome to my blog” posting first.

Once you have read the past postings, the best way to keep up on new postings is to “Follow” the blog.  This is done by selecting the “Follow” option in the lower right corner of the screen and entering your email address.  If you follow the blog, you will receive email notifications on new postings and comments.

You can access the full blog with all the posts via the following link:  http://PScamihorn.me

Also, please feel free to comment on the posts.  I’d love to hear your thoughts or at least know that someone is reading the updates.

Finally, feel free to share the link with others who are interested. The more people the more Prayer and Positive energy!

The Marlins (6/15/12)

My lung resection surgery fell on a weekend that my 12 year old step-son’s baseball team was playing in a tournament. Even though I followed the Marlins via play-by-play text messages as they hit home runs and won games, this was the first time that I actually missed watching them play.  The Marlins earned a second place finish in that tournament; losing the championship game by one run.

Last year the Marlins started playing in a new league.  They faced much tougher competition than they had played in the past. It’s not uncommon for a team facing more challenging opponents to lose their heart; however, the Marlins simply hung in there and played through the down times and stayed focused on improving their skills with each game. The trophy they won was an important achievement as it was the first placement they made since moving up to the tougher league.

When my step son came home from the game he was carrying a team picture, team-autographed game ball, and a rather large second place trophy.  At first I thought wow, that’s a big trophy. Then I realized there was only one trophy that large – that was the “team’s” trophy.

He handed me the team’s trophy, the team-autographed ball, and the team picture. He said “the team wanted you to have the trophy.” He continued to explain that the team dedicated their games to me and wanted to fill a trophy cabinet up for me.

This made my heart grow two sizes. I had to work to hold back the tears.  Having this wonderful group of boys dedicating their games to me was a very moving gesture. They are such a great group of boys and the fact is that they missed me at their games; and wanted me to know that they were thinking about me and caring about me.

And they are continuing to make true on their promise to fill a trophy cabinet for me. They are tougher and more experienced players this year. In their last three tournaments they have taken two second place trophies and one first place trophy.

I am both honored and humbled that they have dedicated their games to me.  And I’m taking the persistence and patience they have shown over the past couple of years as a personal lesson to me.  The lesson that the Marlins have exemplified is what I must do as I face cancer.

No matter what the predicament — never give up. 

No matter what adversity — sustain and endure.

From the bottom of my heart,

Thank You Marlins!!!

Two Different Opinions (6/12/12)

First we met with the local oncologist on June 8, 2012.  His recommendation was FolFox chemotherapy regiment for six months + radiation therapy + Avastin (an additional expensive chemo drug).  He also wanted to do a PET scan before beginning chemo to see if there was any other evidence of disease.  We reminded him that we just completed the chest, pelvis, and lung CT scan on May 21^st (about two weeks prior) and questioned why he would want to do another scan so soon, and why a PET scan and not a CT.  He suggested that the PET scan could pick up smaller nodules than the CT scan — per his report the CT scan could detect 10 mm nodules whereas the PET scan could detect 5 mm nodules.  We asked why the PET scan done on Feb 17 didn’t detect the colon tumor as it supposedly was a scan from the base of the skull to the mid-thigh and that tumor was much bigger than 10 mm. He didn’t know why it didn’t show up on the scan. We also reminded him that even the lung nodule was not consistent with cancer per the Feb 17th PET scan and asked why we would expect different results now. Keep in mind that PET scans involve injecting a nuclear die into the subject’s veins.  The technicians stand on an opposite side of a lead wall while administering this scan.  One needs to consider the toxic implications as well as the expensive costs vs. the potential benefits. Additionally, we learned that healing scar tissues (from recent surgeries) would likely light up the PET scan and make it difficult to read as well.  We are not the doctors, however, I am learning that one needs to take a keen interest in their health and question the decisions and recommendations of the doctors. After this June 8 meeting we were resolved to get a second opinion.

The time for the second opinion came on June 12.  We went to meet with an oncologist from University of Michigan Comprehensive Cancer Center.  This oncologist differed in opinion with the local oncologist. He suggested that Fulfox for six months was the only treatment he would recommend. He said there was NO evidence that Avastin would help in my case (Avastin is usually used when there is a non-operable tumor that they are trying to kill/shrink with chemotherapy).  He also reported that given the location of the colon tumor that radiation therapy was not an option.  He also differed in opinion about the PET scan.  Instead of a PET scan he ordered another CT scan of the chest to serve as a baseline.  The difference between the CT scan at U of M vs. the CT scan done in Battle Creek was the resolution of the imaging.  The U of M imaging was done at .8 mm slices whereas the Battle Creek imaging is done at 5 mm slices.  This would give him greater visibility to any nodules that may be small and beginning to grow.

Another comparison of the two doctors is the amount of time they took with us.  We recorded the meetings so we could review and make sure we fully understood everything that was discussed. The Battle Creek Oncologist spent a whopping 8 minutes with us whereas the U of M oncologist spent over 45 minutes making sure all our questions were answered, including many questions we didn’t even know to ask.  He took the time to thoroughly cover the chemotherapy treatment.  He also talked about contingencies and what the data shows and doesn’t show regarding treating colorectal cancer.  He also discussed diet and exercise, and what the data shows about this regarding cancer.

Another key point the U of M oncologist made was that Stage IV colorectal cancer CAN BE CURED. He explained that there are many different degrees of stage IV colorectal cancer and that I had a lot going for me at this time; and that he hoped we will cure this disease with treatment and close surveillance.  I’ll go over more of the data he shared with us in the next post.

The bottom line is the U of M oncologist won our confidence and trust.

Lung Resection Surgery (6/1/12)

So the results were all in.  The pathology report from the colon resection, and the results of the CT scan of the chest, abdomen, and pelvis.

The key finding in the pathology report was that one of seventeen lymph nodes tested positive for cancer.  That meant the cancer had spread into the lymph nodes and, therefore, I would likely need chemo as part of my treatment.

The other results showed that the lung nodule had grown from approximately 12 mm to 18 mm in 200 days.  This came along with the recommendation that the nodule be biopsied as soon as possible. It was likely that the nodule was cancer but we were still not sure if it was a metastasis of the testicular cancer or colon cancer or possibly a third primary cancer (e.g. lung cancer).

Before agreeing to a biopsy, given the previous discussion about the challenge with the location of the nodule, we requested a consultation with a thoracic surgeon.  The oncologist referred us to the surgeon that we were previously considering for doing the biopsy, before the PET scan reported that the nodule was not likely cancer.  He suggested that this surgeon could put in a port (for chemo) and address the lung nodule.

When we met with the surgeon she decided that the nodule was likely cancer and we all decided that it would be best to simply remove the nodule and save time.  So the lung resection surgery was scheduled for 6/1 (three weeks after the colon resection was completed).

6/1 came quickly and the surgery was performed successfully.

The nodule was removed and the pre-pathology report found it to be a metastasis of the colon cancer. The good news was that the section of lung removed showed clear margins (e.g. the cancer was removed entirely).

So, now with the metastasis to the lung and a lymph node the diagnosis is Stage IV Colon Cancer.

In the following days the final pathology report confirmed the preliminary report.

The recovery from the lung surgery took a couple of weeks (a bit faster recovery than from the colon surgery).

And with the recovery moving along quickly we started to discuss next steps with the local oncologist.  We also started looking into getting a second (and possibly third) opinion.

The Surprise Visit (5/21/12)

I was supposed to go for the lung nodule follow-up on May 16; however, this had to be rescheduled due to the resection surgery.  So Monday, May 21st was the new day for the follow-up scan.

Going to get the CT scan was the focus of the day. The chest, abdomen, and pelvis scan required that I not eat or drink and I had to drink the ready CAT prep liquid (not good). The scan was at 1:50 p.m. That meant I spent most of the day hungry and thinking about the scan, researching chemo, wondering if the nodule on my lung will be bigger or gone, and wondering if they will find lesions on my liver or if there are any other hidden tumors lurking inside me.

And when the CT scan was done, I felt sad and helpless. My blood has been drawn, the tests have been completed, and now again, I have to wait for the results. And the results are out of my control.

Around 5:30 p.m. dinner time rolled around. My step daughters cooked my favorite dinner (spaghetti) however, I had eaten shortly after the scan was completed (remember I didn’t eat all day), and I was not hungry. Instead of eating spaghetti dinner I wandered out back and built a fire in our fire pit. It was cloudy and cool and the fire was warm and relaxing. I was sitting by the fire wrapped up in my thoughts and reflections. The kids came out after finishing their dinner and sat with me a bit. We chatted about their current challenges and then they all decided to take a bike ride and left me to my own reflections.

Monday night golf was surprisingly not something that crossed my mind that day. This was surprising because it was Monday and not being able to play on my Monday night league because of this cancer was one of the things that really saddened me.

I have played golf with the same partner for the last 15 years and with the same Monday night league for the last ten years. We are not the best golfers. We have won our league a few times over the 15 years, but usually we end up 3rd, 4th, or 5th. We play to play and to have fun. Our entire league (all 20 people) is of similar mindset and mostly play for fun.  With the resection surgery I had to find a sub for at least six weeks. Now facing chemo I realize that I may not be able to play this season at all. And I miss playing already. This makes me angry and sad.

My phone rang around 8 p.m. and my friend Travis was on the phone and wanted to know what I was doing and if he could come over. I told him I had built a fire, that I had a few beers in the fridge, and he was more than welcome to join me. Travis and Terry arrived, then Louie and Maynard.

My golf buddies from the Monday night league decided to come over for the 19th hole. I was surprised that I didn’t even remember that it was Monday night. How could I forget?

We all sat around the fire, we laughed and talked. My wife brought out hot dogs, chips, and peanuts. They grilled dogs and enjoyed a little post-golf snack. We reminisced about golf, hunting trips, and fishing. We talked about cancer, the tests, and the possibility of chemo. And we discussed ideas for the next Monday night post-golf gathering (they want chili).

This impromptu gathering caught me off guard. I was touched. It truly made my day. I am lucky to have friends who I have known for so many years and have experienced so many things together with them!

I still had to wait for the results from the CT scan and blood lab tests. But waiting was not so bad on that Monday night as it was spent with friends who cared to come and cheer me up; without even knowing how much it was needed.