ONE POINT ONE (05/16/2013 Update)

WOW — ONE POINT ONE

I am elated to give a wonderful update today.  Praise be to God!!!

Connie and I went to Ann Arbor for three different doctor appointments yesterday.  We met with the surgeon who performed the liver resection, a genetics specialist, and my oncologist.

The surgeon was very pleased that healing is progressing very well.  He recommended continued rest when tired, moderate exercise, and to see my oncologist for subsequent treatment as soon as possible.  I asked him if meeting my oncologist in a few hours was acceptable and he smiled with approval.

The genetics specialist reviewed my case to see if there might be a genetic explanation for having two cancers before the age of 50.  While I tested negative for the most common genetic explanation for cancer susceptibility the oncologist ordered a long-shot follow-up test for another known condition.  She also explained that there may be unknown genetic causes that they simply have not yet learned about and assurred me that there was an army of researchers hard at work, looking for new insights into cancer causes.  I agreed to participate in research and I pray that this team will find causes that lead to cures!!!

The Oncologist had the best news of all.  My CEA level tested as 1.1.  This is the very lowest level since starting tests over a year ago.  More importantly, the green strip on the bottom of the graphic below represents the normal range for CEA levels.  As you can see this is the FIRST TIME my CEA level has fallen within the normal range! Yah!!!

And more good news

I was prepared for the oncologist to start the remaining chemo treatments immediately; however, I was pleasantly surprised that the good doctor said it was fine to extend my break from chemo a few more weeks.  Therefore I will not start chemo until Thursday June 6.  That means I will remain chemo free (and free from the side-effects) through Memorial Day weekend and through the June 1^st Colon Cancer Awareness 5K Run/Walk!

I am really looking forward to seeing many of you at this important fundraiser.  I will be very proud to walk with all of you for this cause!

For more information on the race you can follow this link:

http://www.calhouncancer.org/awareness_event.php

May God continue to bless and keep you all as we begin this warmer season!

Your brother in Christ,

Phil

Recovery Status (04/26/2013 Update)

Surgery Status

As last reported there were two larger tumors confirmed on both the initial and follow-up MRI.  However, there was uncertainty regarding shadows seen on the initial MRI, not seen on the follow-up MRI.  It was possible that these shadows were smaller tumors that shrunk and therefore were not visible on the follow-up MRI.  An ultrasound is a more reliable way to see tumors/lesions and therefore, as part of the surgery, an ultrasound was first done to verify the location of the two known tumors AND to see if there were in fact smaller tumors present.

The surgery turned out to be the best case scenario we could hope for!  The two larger tumors were the only lesions found (per the ultrasound) and they were both surgically removed with clear margins. Praise the Lord; His Mercy never fails! 

The next step in my cancer fight is to recover from the surgery; and so far I’ve been on a fast-track recovery plan just as the doctor anticipated. My part in the recovery is to rest, eat quality foods, and do moderate exercise (walking and breathing exercises).  And I’ve been trying to do them faithfully.

If everything continues as it has been going I expect to be back to work Monday May 6 (with minimal restriction).  The doctor’s assistants have discussed that I will need to; 1) avoid lifting anything over 5lbs, pushing or pulling heavy things, or stressing the abdomen area in general, and 2) listening to the body and resting as needed (don’t overdo it).

This first week of recovery has also included managing pain medication.  I have two pain medications; over-the counter Tylenol and a stronger prescription medication. The goal is to use the pain medications to moderate pain but to wean off of them as the healing allows.  Trying to wean off of them too quick will result in increased pain levels and a slower rate of healing. I need to be off of the prescription in order to drive and therefore my focus has been on using less of this drug as time passes.

Today I have gone without the prescription medication since 2am and I’m feeling pretty good.  I’ve found that I tended to need this stronger medication during the night.  Sleeping involves tossing and turning and getting in/out of bed and these activities tended to stress the abdomen area moreso than sitting or walking.  So getting through a night with minimal reliance on the prescription drug is definitely progress.

This is the Day that the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be Glad In It!

I hope that I am beyond the need for the full doses and I’m looking forward to being a little more alert and mobile. This morning I took advantage of the warm and sunny weather (and the availability of a professional dog walker). We went on a little nature walk and it was very refreshing indeed. And given the near-term weather forecast; I’m hoping to do a little more walking over the week-end. 

I’m scheduled to visit both the surgeon and oncologist on May 16.  They will assess the healing and determine if I am ready to begin chemo treatments.  As soon as I’m deemed ready I’ll begin a series of eight more chemo treatments over several months (to kill remaining cancer cells).  While I’m not looking forward to once-again dealing with the side-effects of chemo at least this time I know these treatments are effective AND there is a strong hope that this cancer will be put into a full remission, especially with all the prayer support from you!!!

Thank you all again from the bottom of my heart…  For your Prayers..  Encouraging cards and messages… Visiting and calling… And generous acts and kindness…

I am truly a very lucky person to be surrounded by so many loving and beutiful family and friends.

Love and Light to you!

Sincerely,

Phil

Surgery Tomorrow (04/18/2013 Update)

As last reported a few short weeks ago; the Folfiri and Erbitux treatment was extremely effective at reversing tumor activity. The latest CEA test came in at 3.7 (that’s the lowest since testing started). The follow-up MRI (done on Mar 21) was a much better image than the Jan 15 picture and showed that the two larger tumors in the liver had shrunk considerably.  Shadows on the earlier MRI (thought to be several smaller tumors) were not visible at the follow-up MRI.

Given these results the Tumor Board recommended 1) removing the two larger tumors as soon as possible and 2) doing an ultrasound on the liver to see if there were/are smaller tumors present (e.g. exploratory surgery).

As soon as possible was determined to April 19 at 9am (tomorrow) and therefore I had to wait several weeks as my body recovered from the effects of the Folfiri and Erbitux chemo treatments.  Ah chucks. No chemo? Time to enjoy life!

The last few weeks (sorry for the side bar)

The last few weeks (without chemo) have been awesome! I have felt better than I have in a long time and so we decided to live it up a bit.  We managed to squeeze in a few activities.  Hum; let’s see…

Sarah came for a visit from Boston, We went to a Kid Rock Concert in Saginaw, a Detroit Tiger’s Baseball Game at Comerica Park, The Bob Seger Concert at the Palace of Auburn Hills, Bat Boy The Musical at Wayne State Bonstelle Theatre (Tony’s Play), and a few family dinners at various places in between.  Whew, I’m tired just thinking about this nice run we had!

Seriously, I am truly blessed to have had this time with my loved ones. It was truly a gift from above! Thank you Jesus for these fun-filled days with my family and friends!

Oh yah, surgery tomorrow at 9am!

Well, the possible outcomes from the surgery are summarized below:

• Best Case Scenario: The ultrasound only shows the two tumors in the liver and these two tumors are removed with clear margin
• Possible Scenario: The ultrasound shows additional tumors; however, the two larger tumors are surgically removed and the smaller tumors are either surgically removed or destroyed using ablation (e.g. ablation is a process by which the abnormal cells are killed without removing them surgically).
• Worst Case Scenario: The ultrasound shows many smaller tumors scattered throughout the liver.  In this scenario the surgery would likely be aborted as removal of the larger tumors would not provide benefit.

                                 Prayers for a good outcome are hereby requested.

5K Walk/Run (scheduled for June 1, 2013)

As mentioned some time ago my friends Colette and Darrick are organizing a group to walk or run in the first annual “Colon Cancer Awareness 5K Run/Walk” in Battle Creek Michigan.  I am committed to walk in this event.  This will be a milestone in my post-surgery recovery!  I would love for as many of you to join Collette, Darrick, and myself in this fund raising opportunity. I think we have about 15 signed up so far.

The event is on Saturday June 1st (9am check in time).  And today is the last day for the $25 registration (goes up to $30 tomorrow).  Access the link below for more information and for the online registration form.

https://www.signmeup.com/site/online-event-registration/90222

So much to be thankful for!

Thank You!

Thank you friends and family — For staying up to date on my battle with Cancer; for your prayers as we walk through this valley; for your encouraging words of support; and for your Love! You truly help me keep a positive and hopeful outlook!  I do pray that God will shower blessings on each of you!

Sincerely,

Phil

Very Good News (03/26/2013 Update)

I am very excited to report.

I went in for follow-up scans last Thursday.  I was expecting to receive the results of these scans in a couple more days, along with receiving Chemo Treatment Five. The doctor called this morning and gave me this update.

“The results are better than we had hoped.”

The two larger tumors (seen on the previous MRI) have showed significant reduction. And more importantly, the smaller tumors seen on the previous MRI are not present in this MRI.  As you may recall the previous MRI was not a high-quality image and what was thought to be smaller tumors were “inconclusive.”  The quality of this MRI was substantially better than the last one and the doctors now believe the smaller shadows on the previous scan may not have been tumors. The fact is that they are not showing up on this scan at all.

Change of plans

The NEW plan is to prepare for surgery sooner than later. I will be off chemo four weeks in order to allow my body to recover and prepare for the surgery. Surgery will likely be scheduled towards the middle/end of April. The Tumor Board will review my case on Thursday 3/28 as they must approve this change-of-plans before it is official. However, my doctor said he is 98% sure this will be the new course. I will send out another update on Thursday evening after we hear the results of the Tumor Board review.

Meanwhile, please join me in a prayer of Thanksgiving.

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for your healing Grace. Your mercy and Love overwhelms me.

And thank you for the many medical staff that help me (and many others) fight this Cancer. Grant to them many Blessings and Love this Easter season.

And Thank you Lord for so many people praying for me and supporting me.  Let your Love and Light shine down upon them all during this Easter season.

And help those who have not known you Lord; help me share with them your Love and Grace. Open their hearts as they explore new beginnings.

May the risen Lord be our partner today and every day; filling our lives with Love and Joy!

Amen

More Good News (03/14/2014 Update)

My CEA is down again (from 9 down to 7.6).  This is a hopeful sign that these treatments are working as designed.

I’m scheduled for the MRI and CT follow-up Scans for next Thursday, 3/21.  The hope is that these scans will show the cancer on the decline, positioning me for a future surgery.

The other good news is that the Erbitux Rash has continued to decline.  I did not experience much (if any) resurgence with the last treatment.  And therefore today I am receiving more Erbitux along with the Fulfiri chemo.

I want to write more of an update but I’m struggling with being very tired right now and the words are simply not complete at this time.  I’ll include an additional update in a day or two and will conclude this update with the following invitation.

The Colon and Rectal Center in Battle Creek Michigan are sponsoring a 5K Walk/Race.  I’d like to invite you all to join me in this activity. Maybe we can plan lunch together afterwards..

The event is on Saturday June 1st at 9am.

Please let me now if you are interested in joining me in this race/walk.

Thank you Colette and Darrick for suggesting this activity; I’m already looking forward to a beautiful day on 6/1. More information and sign-up can be found on the following link.

https://www.signmeup.com/site/online-event-registration/90222

Love and Light to you!

Philip

Erbitux/Folfiri Treatment 3 Update (02/28/2013)

So much to update on.  Lucky for you all I’m feeling tired as I receive this treatment and therefore I’ll have to keep the update somewhat brief. 🙂

So, in addition to a short medical update I will also share a few other thoughts.

Aunt Sonia

My Aunt Sonia passed away last week and her funeral was yesterday. She was 85 years young and she lived a very beautiful life. And she has left an amazing legacy in the hearts of her husband of 52 years, her six children, her many grandchildren and great grandchildren, her nieces and nephews, and countless friends!

I have very fond memories of Aunt Sonia.  My father would take us to Paw Paw MI nearly every summer to visit with his sister (my Aunt) on the farm.  I grew up in the City (Detroit) and going to visit Aunt Sonia and Uncle Bob was always an exciting time that my siblings and I looked forward to.

Aunt Sonia had a way of making us ALL feel special. When we would arrive she would meet us at the car and she would give each of us a big bear hug and kiss, barely waiting for us to exit the old VW bus.  The love in her heart was so genuine.  And lucky for us she cultivated that love into the hearts of her children (my dear cousins).

Another fond memory that I have of Aunt Sonia was how she always made the most delicious food!  And there was always plenty to go around. My Uncle Bob and Aunt Sonia had a large family (six children).  Add our family (seven children) and another cousin or two — only then can you start appreciate the effort that went into the cooking.  She was literally cooking for a small army!   And somehow Aunt Sonia alawys made it look easy and effortless.

I Love you Uncle Bob. I love you cousins. You are all in my Prayers.

Go Red Wings!  I think my Aunt Sonia was more a fan than I am (and those of you who know me well can imagine that she must have loved the Wings).

Learning about my family

I learned a lot about my family lineage yesterday.  I now have a copy of the Scamihorn genealogy dating back to the mid 1800’s.  I’m hoping to update this family tree information and share it with my relatives in such a way that we can all contribute to the story over time.

It was fulfilling to learn about my ancestors.  I now know that Samuel Scamihorn begot Jacob Scamihorn begot George Watson Scamihorn begot George Henry Scamihorn begot Philip Joseph Scamihorn (me).  My connection to this lineage was severed because my Grandfather abandoned my father (and his family) when he was very young.  We simply didn’t have the privilege to hear Grandpa’s stories. And now, at the young age of 49 I’m learning things I simply didn’t know. And it feels good to do!

Basketball update

As last reported (in SPITE of the Erbitux rash) I managed to attend the Marshall Red Hawks’ basketball tournaments the last couple of weeks. And I’m very thankful that I’ve been able to attend.  The boys are all growing in leaps and bounds (literally). I’m especially happy to see Bryce doing so well. The team has improved, leading to increased confidence, leading to even better game, leading to more confidence, etc…

Go Marshall!

Go Bryce!!

YouVersion — My favorite App (by far)

If you are interested in a handy way of reading a book full of Life lessons I STRONGLY recommend trying out the YouVersion bible!  This is a free app that you can install on your smart phone and/or iPad.  My wife introduced me to this app and it has quickly become my favorite.

I enjoy following the daily reading “plans.” These plans vary from 3 days up to 300 days. A plan is essentially a guided tour through the scriptures. Examples of the plans include Parenting by Design, The Christmas Story, Relationships, Love and Marriage. My favorite part of a plan is the devotional writings. The devotionals appear to be written by theologians and they tend to add context and interpretation to the bible verses. I also love that you can easily switch between different bible translations and sometimes find myself comparing and contrasting between them.

For me reading the plans are like reading a good book that you simply can’t put down.  Oh, yah that’s probably because it is the Good Book!

So far I have completed 23 different plans and I’m in the middle of four more that will soon be completed.

Let me know if you are using this App.  And check it out if you’re not.

Medical Update:

Excellent News – CEA is down!  This is a good indicator that this Erbitux/Folfiri is working!  My doctor looked over the rash (which is substantially less than it was) and decided a 50% dose of Erbitux was in order for today.  I suspect that there might be a resurrgence; however, I’m also hopeful that it won’t be as bad as it was. Today’s infusion is nearly done. We’re hoping to be on our way home around 3pm.

Thank you!!!

Thank you all for your continued prayers! And for all your support.

Please keep my Uncle Bob and Aunt Sonia’s family and friends in your prayers.

May God Bless and keep you forever!

Your brother in Christ,

Philip

Faith, Hope, and Love (02/20/2013 update)

I was doing a little research and found some interesting info on Faith, Hope, and Love.  In the last blog update I raised the question “What is the difference between Faith, Hope, and Love?”  It seems like this question was contemplated quite some time ago by Martin Luther (who lived from 1483 to 1546). I found an article referencing Luther’s teaching on this subject. The summary of this article is as follows.

Essentially Faith is the truth that we hold in our heart and mind. Hope rises in the will, in response to tribulation. Faith anchors us and hope is our guide through despair or tribulation. I thought the statement “By faith we begin, by hope we continue…” is very profound.

So, with this I examine how faith and hope applies to me.

My Faith includes my core beliefs as a Christian. I believe in the holy trinity (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit). I believe Jesus is the son of God. He became human, suffered, and died on the cross. Jesus paid for our sins by dying for us on the cross.  Jesus conquered death by rising from the dead and ascending into heaven body and spirit. Jesus will one day come again. The foundation of my faith is that I accept Jesus as my personal savior and Lord. He paid for my sins and I will love him eternally. I will follow him all the days of my life. I will live my life trying to be more like him; applying the many lessons he has left for us to my life.  My faith can be summarized in that I know Jesus has a perfect plan for me and His plan will prevail!

Grounded by this faith (and faced with tribulation) I am filled with Hope. My hope is that I will allow the Holy Spirit to guide me and keep me strong; following the path the Lord has laid out for me. My hope is that I will be cured from this cancer. I hope that I will be with my family for many years. I hope that our Father will teach me to Love my family and friends more with each passing day. I hope that my family will grow in their faith. I hope to one day be a grandfather. I hope that I will learn more about the many lessons that Jesus taught us while on earth and have the opportunity to learn from and with other Christians. I hope to grow more open minded, accepting of other’s beliefs and avoiding judgment of others.

Why is Love the greatest of these?

I found another article by theologian Mark D. Roberts that seemed to do a great job answering this question. As this article points out, scripture teaches us that God is Love (1 John 4:8). Scripture never says that God is faith or hope.  Another point made in this article is that when find ourselves face-to-face with our God in heaven faith and hope will no longer be as important as Love.  In the presence of God we will know him and our hopes will all be fulfilled.  Love will be everlasting and therefore is the greatest of these.

And after this analysis I recall lyrics from one of the songs I would sing as a child…

“God is Love, and he who abides in Love, abides in God, and God in him”

God bless you and keep you forever!

Phil

Good News Update (02/16/2013)

Medical Update

I was just disconnected from the pump and I’m feeling fairly well so far.  I’m very happy with how fast the rash is subsiding. As I reported on Thursday, the doctor withheld the Erbitux for Treatment 2.  And he prescribed an additional antibiotic.  Thanks to my wife (Dr. Connie) who is making sure I wash, use lotion, take pills on time!  Surely it is her dilligence that has resulted in a very quick improvement (see comparative pictures).

I’m managing through the other side effects from this treatment as well (mostly fatigue and some sleeping pattern challenges).

And I have to let you all know.  My beautiful wife gave me a kiss everday thoughout this terrible rash.  I told her that she is kissing a frog that hopes to become a prince for her once again. And I did buy her some beautiful roses yesterday as a little post-valentines day surprise too. I Love you Connie!

Basketball Update

I managed to make it to both the 9am and Noon game today. Marshall won them both and is now 2-0 in the tournament and undefeated for the season overall.  Hopefully after a short nap I’ll be up for the 4pm game as well.  The 4pm game is a regular season game.  The tournament games begin again on Sunday.  And I need to save some energy for tomorrow’s 11:15am service followed by a 1pm and 3pm basketball games.  I should be good to go as my part will be sitting and watching, and avoiding too much cheering. 🙂

Wondering Minds

I thought I would also include in this update a little thinking I’ve been doing…  Friday morning I found myself wide awake at 1:30am.  Something I’ll do if I can’t sleep is read random bible verses.  Anyway I flipped to a couple of passages both raising questions about Faith, Hope, and Love.  I thought I would share these verses with you and raise a couple of questions to reflect on.

So the two verses I mentioned above are:

1. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against things like this.  Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified self with its passions and its desires.  If we live by the Spirit, let’s follow the Spirit.  Let’s not become arrogant, make each other angry, or be jealous of each other. (Galatians 5:22-26 CEB)
2. Now faith, hope, and love remain—these three things—and the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:13 CEB)

The questions to reflect on…

1. What is the difference between Faith, Hope, and Love???
2. And why is Love the greatest of these???

I’m going to do a little research and reflection on these questions and will include my findings in upcoming posts.  And I would LOVE to hear your thoughts/insights on these verses/and questions (pscamihorn@aol.com).

To be continued…

Meditation to share

The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; and he knows them that trust in him.  Nahum 1:7

• I put my life in God’s hands.
• I will trust God’s Guidance.
• I leave the outcome to God.

Valentine’s Day (02/14/2013)

Valentine’s Day!

Today is Valentine’s Day. And I know this because Connie gave me the most creative card that she made just for me. She loves making cards and she is really good at it too.  And I love this card the best! And I Love Connie!

Okay, I bet you thought I forgot about V-day — don’t panic. Lucky for me I’m part of the Valentine’s day target market.  I heard the message loud and clear from radio, TV, and email.

I gave Connie a pretty nice card too (albeit store bought).  I also gave her some elegent perfume and bath/spa goodies as well. And she was surprised and happy!

Like Phil from Duck Dynasty says – I wish you ALL a very “Happy, Happy, Happy” Valentine’s Day filled with LOVE!

Medical Update

As you all read in my last blog I started receiving a new chemo on Jan 31.  The goal of this new chemo is to stop/reduce the cancer growth and prepare me for a future liver surgery. I also reported that this new chemo was composed of FOLFIRI and Erbitux. The side-effects of this new chemo were expected to be similar to the last chemo; including fatigue, nausea, frequent trips to the rest room (if you know what I mean).  In addition to these effects the doctor told us that fifty percent of Erbitux patients develop a rash as well.  I didn’t think much about the rash.  Besides, I was going to be in the fifty percent that did NOT develop the rash.

Well, I ended up with the rash.  And it was more of an issue than I thought. In fact, the rash was bad enough for the doctor to withhold the Erbitux from today’s treatment. He raised concerns about possible infection and permanent damage to my face (mainly my nose).  I asked him if it might make it smaller and he said “yes, the tip might fall off.” And then he reported that I’ll be taking a break from Erbitux so my body can heal a bit.  I’m still receiving the FOLFIRI (currently connected to the IV right now).

The biggest pain about having this Erbitux rash (which looks like very bad acne – as you can see n the picture below) is that now it is obvious that something is going on with me.  I’ve been pretty lucky that until now I didn’t really LOOK sick.

Throughout my previous treatments (pre-rash) I managed to go to my 12 year old son’s sporting events, sometimes with the chemo pump fanny-pack hidden under a loose hoody.  And I managed to go into the office and work; even though sometimes I didn’t feel that great.  And I didn’t look sick.

As the rash worsened I found myself being more and more reclusive. I’ve been hiding out at home; working from home instead of going into the office and avoiding any trips outside of the home. And I’ve been fretting about going to my son’s upcoming basketball tournament as well.

I can’t hide behind a “normal looking” face anymore. Now my battle is painfully obvious.

Even though I’ve been very open / public about my battle with cancer (e.g. this blog) I found myself feeling very reluctant to face the public with “the rash.”  Heck, I’ve even felt funny about facing my family.

And if I continue to hide out, well that would let cancer get the upper hand. I can’t miss out on life!  I need to go to the basketball tournaments.  And I need to feel free to face the public.  No matter the rash.  In spite of the rash.

As it is cancer does chip away at life/living and we cancer patients have to resist this attack with all our ability. I couldn’t play golf last season due to operations, recovery, and chemo.  If the current chemo is successful I will face another surgery right around the beginning of golf season (e.g. may not be able to play this year).

So I am resolved! I’ll be going to sporting events and concerts and out to dinner; as long as I feel well enough to do so.

And even though I’m skipping Erbitux this treatment, I’m hoping to get it in the next treatment in order to maximize my chances of beating this cancer!

Praying Today

And on this special Valentine ’s Day; I thank God for all the Love in my life! I am truly Blessed!  And Love will see me through this cancer battle!

And I pray…

Jesus, You know the circumstances in my life where I’m feeling caught in a storm, uncertain of how to make it through safely. I find such confidence in the thought that You come to me in the midst of these storms, urging me to take courage in Your presence. Hold out Your hand to me, Lord, and help me walk on water with You. I want my life to reflect my trust in You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Thank YOU!

Thank you ALL for your continued support and Prayers!

Love and Light to you today!

Additional Thoughts

* Anyone interested in praying with us, you are invited to join us on Sunday at First Wes (http://firstwes.org/), in Battle Creek.  We’ll be at the 11:15am service.

* Pray for Anna as she is looking for her first post-college job!

* Pray for Alexis.  She is recovering from a pretty bad flu virus!

* Pray for Sarah to have safe travels home from Abu Dhabi.  I hope her vacation was WONDERFUL!

* Pray for Tony who is rehearsing for a musical.  I’m looking forward to hearing him sing!

* Go Marshall! The Marshall Redhawks are undefeated, winning the Homer tournament this past weekend!  Wishing them luck in the upcoming Harper Creek tournament!!!

Rambling (01/31/2013)

Counting my blessings…

Recently I read a post from an online friend on the Cancer Survivor Network (csn.org).  The gist of the post was about how cancer is always in the subconscious of the cancer patient’s mind. This post prompted me to think about the cancer emotional roller coaster.

I agree with my friend – the cancer issue seems to always be present.  I don’t think one day has passed since Halloween 2011 (when I was first diagnosed with cancer) where I haven’t thought about this ugly disease and the possible implications to me. Sometimes I’ll wake up before I should wake up, and my mind will wander. I can see how this disease can easily overwhelm a person.

But so far I have been able to cope well enough.

My faith certainly takes credit for this disease NOT overwhelming me. I know that Jesus is with me every day and every step of the way. And his perfect plan will surely prevail. And I will serve him as best I can, one day at a time.

I am truly a very blessed man and I don’t count my  blessings nearly as often as I should.

When I was seventeen I became involved with a Christian youth group called “Search for Christian Maturity.”  During the time with this group I learned a lot about how much Jesus loves each and every one of us. God is Love and Love is God! And I felt Loved!  And I felt God’s presence!

And I have been very lucky (e.g. Blessed) to have sooooo much Love in my life. I have always had a lot of Love in my life. I love God with my entire heart and soul! And Jesus Loves me beyond my comprehension. I loved my mother and father, and my brothers and sisters. I love my wife and all my children. I love my friends. I don’t think I have any enemies, but if I did, I would try to love them as well.

And I feel much love in return.

Love truly has been a blessing in my life! Singing has also been a blessing to me.

I grew up singing in church choirs through grade school, high school, college, and post-college. And one of the wonderful blessings from this experience is that the songs that we sung week-after-week, were burned into my memory (Thank you Sister Mary Johnathon). The lyrics from these songs are loaded with Love, wisdom, and life’s lessons, taken directly from the word of God. The melody and verses of these songs are rooted in my soul. Or perhaps it is my soul that is rooted in these songs?

I sing because I’m happy. Oh happy days. Be not afraid, I go before you always!  I once was blind but now I can see. On a hill far away. Just say the word and I will be healed. Just a closer walk with Thee! And he will raise you up on Eagle Wings! He who believes in me will never die. Amazing Grace. How Great thou Art. Here I am Lord, is it I Lord! Glory to God in the highest. Mine eyes have seen the Glory. Jesus is the Light, he’s the light of the world. There will be peace in the valley. I’m on my way to heaven. Like a bridge over troubled waters. And on and on and on and on and on…

Yes, cancer is always here for me.  And I will likely think about cancer every day for the rest of my life. And I will likely have some down and weaker times. However, I’m sure that Jesus will be walking with me every step of the way.  And cancer will NEVER overwhelm us.

Medical Update

We saw the doctor today and he restated the plan. I will start the second line of chemo today (FOFIRI and Erbitux). The hope is that these medications will stop/reverse the tumor growth. The Lord willing, the drugs WILL put the tumors in check. I will receive four treatments (today, 2/14, 2/28, 3/14) and then we will take a look to assess the progress. I expect that the CT and MRI scans will be done on or around March 19, 2013.

March 19 is a special day for me and my family.  It is St. Joseph day. I grew up going to Patronage of St. Joseph church and St. Joseph’s day was a very big event in our parish.  My middle name is Joseph.  My son’s middle name is Joseph. My mother passed away on March 19.  So, I will be
celebrating March 19 regardless of any tests or test results.  And I invite each of you to celebrate with me, every day.

May Love shine upon you today.
May God’s Blessings flow to you and your beloved.

Thank you all so much for all your support.

Sincerely,

Philip

ps. I recently read that hugs are good for your health! So, next time you see me feel free to give me a hug. And get a hug in return. 🙂

pss. Thank you all who came to the kareoke night last Saturday! It was simply wonderful! I thoroughly enjoyed your great company.

psss. Thank you too everyone who came to Sunday service with us! I am grateful for having been able to share that time together!

pssss. Congratulations Tony! Your play was excellent. The cast did an awesome job! And I’m looking forard to the musical.